Noots’ Notes-Game 6: 45-10 Loss at Cincinnati

By
Michael Nudo

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The Chicago NFL team suffered an embarrassment of unparalleled proportions to the Bengals on Sunday. This nameless faceless sea of ineptitude consistently parted for Cedric Benson, who ran with gusto, vim and authority through emotionless bystanders whose apathy was without peer.

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OFFENSE

Quarterback
Three interceptions from the freshly extended ultra super duper quarterback. Most of them were into triple coverage. One touchdown pass when it really didn’t matter. GRADE: D

Running Backs
Not much to assess here. Behind by too much too early to have carries that were important. A rare make-you-miss move by the top running back after a short reception was the lone highlight. GRADE: D

Receivers
The returner-turned-receiver had a nice game except he also put the ball on the ground. The former college teammate of the quarterback had a couple of nice catches. The top tight end didn’t finish a route over the middle to lead to another interception. The quarterback almost got killed a few times waiting for one of these putrid perpetrators of procrastination to finally get open. GRADE: D

Offensive Line
The right tackle started the game falsely, as did the team. Falsely. The left guard continues to confound all observers with his inability to sustain a block against defensive tackles of all varieties. In honor of Chad Ochocinco he must have said “ole!” at least half a dozen times. His opponent frosted the quarterback 3 times. The future hall of fame left tackle is caught holding on one of those toreador specials. The center who has more Pro Bowl notches on his belt than he has belt loops cannot consistently provide receivable shotgun snaps. GRADE: F

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DEFENSE

Defensive Line
Did they even play? Over 200 rushing yards allowed. The opposing quarterback never gets touched. What more can be said? Well, they were held a few times, but that doesn’t really tell the whole story. More on this in the coaching. GRADE: F

Linebackers
The middle linebacker played like his namesake, and the Bengals squashed him like a bug. The Pro Bowl linebacker let a big fullback put a move on him in the flat. The no longer injured linebacker (ribbed) actually deflected a pass. But none of us were tickled when he got suckered on a tight end delay for a touchdown. These guys were not present time and again. They were getting caught up in the trash, especially the middle linebacker, who probably would have been better if he sprouted six legs and extended antennae to more professionally sort through the garbage. GRADE: F

Secondary
Take your pick. The nutty cornerback was beaten on a slant and out route for a short touchdown pass. The kid cornerback was beaten for six on the opposite route, where the receiver faked the out and cut in. The safeties took turns being in the wrong places at the wrong times, letting plays get behind them that they shouldn’t have. The Bengals were able to easily pick them apart on both the edges and over the middle. I’ve seen more competitive flag football coverage. The uncontested Carson Palmer (20-24-233, 5 TDs) led the Bengals on 4 touchdowns and a field goal in 5 first half drives. GRADE: F

Special Teams

The one field goal attempt was made. Smelling salts were applied to revive the Bengals’ punter from a deep sleep in the fourth quarter when he was needed for his first kick. Coverage and returns were fair. GRADE: C

Coaching

This was a coaching messterpiece that only got excrementally worse as the game wore on. It was 31-3 at halftime. The Bengals put in an extra tackle and ran an unbalanced line like a short yardage offense for most of the game. It’s a run-heavy set, and the Chicago team responded with only 7 in the box to defend it. With that, the Bengals lined up and battered the front seven to allow Cedric Benson to have his way with the defense. How about using 5 down linemen or stacking the box? Two of their big defensive linemen, who would have been perfect for this game, were inactive. When the Bengals were finally stopped short of a touchdown near the end of the first half, the coaches failed to call a time out. This was while the Bengals let the clock run down to set up a field goal. So when the lackeys from Chicago marched down the field on the ensuing possession at the end of the half, they ran short of precious ticks on the clock to score a touchdown and had to settle for a meaningless field goal.

You blitz to sack the quarterback. If you don’t press the coverage, it allows opponents to check out of the play and get the ball out free. Why waste the blitz? The Bengals continually found big cushions to exploit. Consequently, they could take 7-10 yards whenever they wanted it. And when they needed 10 or more, the holes in the middle were wide enough for the receiver to settle in, put his sandwich down, call for the ball, and catch it. The Head Coach never says anything meaningful in his press conferences. It was apparent that he took the same tact with his team between the opening and closing whistles on Sunday afternoon. Have you ever been more embarrassed to call yourself a fan of this team? I’m hard pressed to think of such a time. GRADE: F-

Noots’ Nut Crackers
The Bengals’ offensive line on the Chicago defensive line

Nudo’s Kudos
Are you kidding me?

Horns
Entire Coaching Staff, especially the Defensive Coordinator/Head Coach

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Posted: 10|26|09 at 12:51 am. Filed under: Game Summary.

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